What viable candidates should already possess: Residence*Transportation*Career
Are we being superficial by expecting certain standards from potential candidates for relationships that we are vetting? Is there a line we shouldn’t cross when we are approaching that potential mate? I’m going to break it down for you. I didn’t actually go into detail that much in the book about The Rule of Three, so here is an elaborate crash course on those points.
Once any able bodied person graduates high school, they should have a few things figured out. First, they should realize if they don’t work, they can’t eat. If you don’t work, you won’t be able to pay for transportation you will need to get to the residence where you dwell. Somehow there is an entitlement mentality out there, and it has spilled over into our relationships, and how we view certain things in the person we’re looking for. It’s hard work and you’re not entitled to anything.
I’m going to go ahead and say it. We’ve become lazy in our culture and don’t want to do even the bare minimum these days to keep a person. Can any of you relate? I’m sure you can. I hear from you all the time asking the same questions. Where are all the good men at? There are so many choices (for men) that they move on quickly and are slow to settle down. I would like to believe that people still prefer quality over quantity. These 3 things will set you apart because so many people don’t have these things, and don’t care to have them.
I first mention The Rule of Three in my book. That is your own place, your own car, and a job. A legal job. The point of mentioning these things isn’t to be materialistic. It is to point out that a viable candidate will be established, and have something to offer you other than love. Love can’t pay a bill. Money does. Love can’t shield you from the elements, only a place of residence can do that. Love can’t drive you to the hospital when you have to have that surgery, or pick up the kids from school when they get sick. Love is great and has great intentions, but in and of itself, it doesn’t get things done, people do.
CAREER– If a person can go to work every day, and at least try to establish something that resembles a career, this shows they are responsible, and at the very least want something out of life more so than mediocrity. Going to work every day shows stability. When you are considering any person for a relationship, they MUST have a job. Maybe they are young and haven’t gotten established yet. Maybe they haven’t had much luck with employment opportunities. Maybe they don’t have that many skills. Usually when people can’t get a job there are other issues worth taking a look at. Make this a standard for any candidate. You don’t want to take care of another adult do you? It’s hard enough taking care of yourself. Don’t bend this rule. You’ll thank your future self later. Words to take away: Responsibility, Stability
RESIDENCE– You meet the guy. He’s perfect. You’ve been dating for a while and you finally feel comfortable going to his house for the first time. The two of you start watching a movie and eating some popcorn. Nice night right? Being all cuddled up with your boo and all. A few minutes later, he leans over and kisses you, and you get butterflies and you feel this rush over you. Remember that feeling? Then you hear keys jingle, and in walks his mom and dad! (Or a roommate). That just sucks doesn’t it? Sure it does. This was a hypothetical situation, but if a person can’t even keep a stable job, and have their own place, how will they be prepared to raise a future family? If they are in college and with a few other exceptions, a roommate is okay. But for long term consideration, they’ve got to be able to provide shelter for themselves first, let alone a family. But this is another rule you shouldn’t bend. Words to take away: Provider
TRANSPORTATION– How will they get to work? How will they make doctor’s appointments, and pick up kids from school? Let’s say you’re just having fun and you aren’t thinking about kids, or marriage or any of that. Let’s say it’s just you and him. How will he pick you up for a date? Or drop you off at home? Without transportation in most big cities, it’s difficult to do anything. Sure there is the public transportation system available, and nothing is wrong with that in places like New York, or Chicago, where it may be more viable to ride the subway or something like that where its more crowded. What if your car breaks down? What if you need a jump because your battery died? I always hear folks talking about the price of gas. If you always have to pick him up, you had better hope he has a job to give you some gas money. Words to take away: Dependability
A career, residence, and transportation are at the top of my list. And at the very least must haves for people who want to get into serious relationships. The Rule of Three is simple, but many fail to have these few things. Here is the correlation. Career or employment = responsibility & stability. Residence = provider. Transportation = dependability. Placing all these words in the same vicinity: responsibility, stability, provider, and dependability. Aren’t these traits you want in a potential candidate? Everybody say yes. These are staples of relationship building.
EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULES
At the point in my life I’m at, I would just move on if I was single and they didn’t have at least these three. They don’t have to stay in a mansion, drive a Mercedes Benz, or bring in 6 figures per year, but I can definitely work with potential and build off that. There’s nothing wrong with passing on an adult who can’t take care of themselves. You’ll save yourself a headache.
Here is the exception. Different people may have an alternative view of what they expect but I’m talking about standard, core principles in all my writing. I’m laying the foundation for things that everyone should consider no matter their age or status. The only exception is they have at least 2 of the 3 rules covered. And the caveat to that is you must have the 3rd rule where they are lacking. If you only have 2 of the 3, the other person should be able to compensate in the area where you are lacking. The two of you can then build, and create an empire together. In any case they should be making progress towards acquiring that 3rd thing.
I’ll have to end this blog post because I could write on this for a while. There have been women that revealed to me they took a man in, accepted him how he was, which is good, but they totally took care of him, got him back on his feet, then he left them for someone else. Men have revealed to me in confidence that they thought they saw potential in women, only to find out they were looking for a guy to take care of them. People want the maximum, but only want to give the minimum. That’s not the way it will work effectively. The way to alleviate this is just to select someone who has The Rule of Three already. Spare yourself the future disappointment. A person who’s responsible, stable, provides, and is dependable will be around for a while, and will be worth their weight in the relationship. Thanks for allowing me to sow positive truthful seeds in your life!
And just for your info, I’ve written an entire book about helping you win in relationships. And I’ve developed a brand new course to accompany the book! Check it out today! It’s all on my website! Click here to get the book on Amazon