How to Find Your Focus

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What’s your focus when searching for a potential partner?

Before we start trying to find someone, we need to know what that looks like. We need to be focused and have some direction on who and what we want. So I developed a series of questions that we will be going deeper into some of these questions we should ask ourselves. This is the first of those questions.

What should I ask?

I sent out questions for feedback when I was writing my first book. I didn’t go into detail, and I ended up coming up with a series of questions about relationships that I asked people or polled people about. I also did some research on some of them to bring you some valuable information. I was going to turn it into an eBook, but my marketing team thought it better to use it as blogposts so here’s a treat for you, my readers. Over the next 28 weeks, I’m going to include one question per week in addition to my other blog post for the week. This week starts the first one so let’s get right into it. If you have any input, I’d absolutely love to hear your thoughts and what you think about it. Just leave a comment at the bottom of this post.

After I gathered information over 5 years from different men and women, from different countries, with different cultures and of different ethnicities, I was given a colorful point of view on topics related to relationships. Out of that information, I tried to come up with just a few questions, that when answered, would give me what I needed to start writing the book. This series is covering those questions specifically because I didn’t have a chance in the book to actually address each one in detail. But here I can answer them, both with my own answers to them, and then some comments about what these things mean in our journey to find that special person.

These questions were answered by people from all over the world including a few from Germany, India, Croatia, and Australia. The ages ranged from 17 to 60. I’ll go ahead and lay out the questions and we’ll have some fun going through them.

The following is a series of questions that are thought provoking and challenge people to be honest with themselves and think deeper about their relationships


I asked this question because a lot of us don’t even know what we want out of life. So how can we have any direction on what we want or who we want if we don’t even know what that is? This question helped me see where people who answered these questions minds were at and what was most important to them. This is one of the defining things that determine what type of person we will choose. Here are some of their answers. Some people asked that I use either fictitious names or pseudonyms so I honored their requests.

I want happiness and peace. That’s all I could ask for and with that being said, those things contain a lot. Happiness as in financial security, happiness as in love, happiness as in a family, and happiness as in a better relationship with God. There can be a lot of chaos and roadblocks preventing someone from getting to their state of happiness, so peace is a must have. A life filled with stress isn’t a peaceful life, which in turn, isn’t a happy life. -Mikaela 17

Lots of money and good Sex-Dean 49

To have a happy healthy relationship and to be successful -Jasmine G. 26

Success in raising my children, having a strong personal relationship with God and a relationship with a Strong God fearing man -Shannon 32 

I want a happy, healthy, and meaningful relationship -Crystal S. 34 

To fulfill my purpose and to please God in doing so is what I want out of life -Fred J. 60


Other common answers included being happy, being a great father or mother to their children, and they wanted what was best for their kids. All of these things are driving decisions in the type of people they wanted. I noticed that in most of their answers, having a good relationship was at the top of the list.

This drives home a key point in my book The Truth: keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships that people spend a great deal of time searching for someone to fill in that spot. People want to be with someone. No one likes being alone. This is a huge driving factor in people dealing with situations that may be less than ideal. Once we figure out the answer to this question, then we can have a better idea of at least who we do NOT want.

Click here to buy the book on Amazon!

If you’d like to leave your answers to these questions, please leave a comment below! I’d absolutely love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and outlooks on these topics.

These are a few ideas that you can implement right now to start building a healthy relationship, and watch a transformation in your relationships.

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I’m dedicated to helping you build those quality relationships. Its all in the book! And if you want to learn even more tips, tricks and strategies behind the way men think, then you’ve got to listen to this podcast!

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