Is a Prenuptial Agreement a deal breaker?
Some women feel if a man wants to be with her, genuinely he shouldn’t be looking at losing something right off. They look at it as if the man is already preparing to part, and because of this, feel he wants to protect himself and he isn’t fully vested in the relationship. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
To the contrary, I’ve spoken to hundreds of guys who feel if the woman truly loves him, she wouldn’t worry about his worldly possessions or monetary value. So there are conflicting ideas and views on it.
Here is the breakdown. The truth of the matter is that there are many, many fathers and husbands who do take care of their families and children, and the way today’s system is designed, men get slammed when they either divorce, or have to pay child support. Many times, the judgment is unfair and biased. During a marriage or any relationship, men have to wear many hats and endure a lot of pressure. There is even more pressure when there is no longer a bond between him and the woman.
I’ve had this discussion with many different people about this subject. Most women admitted they had talked about it with their spouses about what type of arrangements they would have if they parted ways. Just a hypothetical conversation. The interesting thing is that even when people do agree to certain arrangements, when the human emotions get involved, almost everything is skewed. Maybe the person was caused major trauma to their heart and feelings. Maybe they were a horrible partner. Maybe they deserve everything that’s coming to them.
But what about the fathers who are and have always been in their children’s lives?
What about the women who use the children as pawns in a game to make the father experience the same hurt and anguish she feels? Women often don’t believe men can feel their pain. To bring about that same pain they feel, it ends up affecting the children. I don’t believe it’s personally every woman’s aim to carry out a personal vendetta against a man they once loved, but I do think that when it does happen, there isn’t much of a filter there for the men who are caught in that type of situation.
Good fathers and children are always caught in the crossfire of a woman scorned. This is often the way it goes down, and there is no recourse for men. A prenuptial agreement simply lays out what will happen should the time come where the two of you were to grow apart, and you dissolve your relationship. A pre-nuptial may not only be to protect you from taking what you may not have earned, but it also may protect him from being greedy and leaving you with nothing. What if there was a clause written into the agreement that stated you get half of any monetary value, or half of any purchases during the marriage. That sounds fair to me. If you build a house or amass some wealth, you get half of it. That seems fair to me. But what if in that same document you only get half of that, but not of any other businesses he or she may have started, and are doing quite well in. And maybe they established it before you came into the picture. Should you be entitled to any of it even if you did nothing to build the company or make any revenue? I don’t believe anyone should be entitled. That is one thing some people in our society have used to cripple our nation. People believing their entitled to something. I believe you should be entitled to what you worked for, and nothing else. Why should marriage be any different?
If you’re a person who doesn’t get things done, maybe you have more lazier days than you have working days, why should you be entitled to anything you didn’t earn? Entitlements are crippling our society and our relationships today.
What if the person was a millionaire before you met them? (Obviously this is one that is referred to when discussing pre-nuptials.)
There are some women who are predators. They prey on these types of men. There are good women around, but there are some women whose only goal in life is to find a baller. Their only aim is to spend their time looking the prettiest, so they can court someone who has amassed maybe lots of wealth and power, with no real intentions of providing any value to the relationship. I make minor references to this in my book when I mention all-star weekend, where there are a plethora of women hoping to catch one of the NBA players, or the many celebrities that hang around and show up when all-star weekend or any event like this is in town. It is downright disgusting to see these women aiming high, but for the wrong reasons. And men do get caught up with women in nice dresses and makeup, especially when drinking and partying is going on as well.
If either a man or woman decides that they won’t marry you without a prenuptial, maybe you should take a look at it before you make a decision. Maybe they are protecting you there. It is just like writing a will. Everyone knows they are going to die, and when things are spelled out, it prevents a lot of confusion. How many families have feuded for years because things weren’t written out? That’s all a prenuptial is. A written, well thought out plan should anything go awry. That’s my .02.
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How would a business owner look at an employee who asked for profit sharing but never brought in any profit, or only brought in poor marginal profit? Do you think the business owner would consider his request? Of course not. Why should we? That’s what goes on in a lot of cases. Women and men ask for profit sharing, but don’t bring any value to the relationship. That’s going to bring me to another topic, How you can bring value to your relationships. I’ll be writing on how you can bring value to your relationships.
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