Does your partner still give you butterflies?

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The Butterflies

Remember when you first met? Remember when you were excited to get a text or a call from that special person. Everything is cool when love is all brand new. When you’re learning each other, things are all smiles. But what about after several years have passed? What about after children? Are you still just as attracted to the person as the first day you met them then?

We all love to be in love. We chase it with vigor.  It often seems elusive while we chase after it. Once we get it, some time passes, and we almost forget what it feels like to be wanted; to chase and to be chased. This is why this next question is important. Whatever you find you enjoy about being with another person, make sure your partner has some of those traits.

If you’re just joining the series, last week’s question from the series was: What do you dislike about relationships? This is a continuation of the series of questions from the Relationship Resolution Series. Welcome to Relationship Resolutions: Week 5. You can go back and read any of the previous questions in the series, and participate with your own answers in the comments section at the very bottom of this article!


Lately I’ve been seeing a ton of people who are single and loving it! But I don’t really believe that’s the case. Sure there are some people who are genuinely happy and are by themselves. But most people do want someone, it just doesn’t seem like they can find someone. The struggle is real. But, if you find an affinity for more things in your relationships, then good attitudes breed good results. Check out the responses I received.

I could tell this person everything and anything about me without having to worry about being judged or betrayed by them. Holding hands in public with pride, showing everyone what belongs to me is what I love. Being close and holding each other is what I love. Laughing with each other is what I love. Certain things that are only understood between the two of us is what I love. -Mikaela 17 

The sex is good -Dean 49 

Companionship and accountability -Shirley 35 

I love when I can be myself around my mate and he accept it, I also like a relationship when the two can be not only lovers but best friends, that can tell each other anything, I think that’s awesome -Norma 50 

I love being in love! I love having someone I can be myself with someone I can talk to about anything having someone to grow with and just laugh and have a good time with-J.G. 26 

Having that male figure in the house! It’s a secure feeling -Shan 34 

Going on dates, building trust, and having someone to cuddle with. -Devlin 28

The relationship must be the concern of both parties involved. The reason people love relationships is also the reason people ignore warning signs from their significant other, or a new person they meet. It’s the reason men still have sex with women knowing they aren’t quality women, or don’t have good intentions. It’s the reason women ask their friends and family “Why can’t you just be happy for me?” when they have already seen signs that he might not be a good person.

I can’t make this next thing up. I seriously saw this video posted on Facebook, and some of you may have seen it floating around. This woman was ranting about something that I really wasn’t paying attention to until she said “If your man doesn’t beat you, he don’t love you!” And at first, I though it was someone kidding around, but it wasn’t a joke or a prank, she was serious. I must’ve hit the roof. My first reaction was to laugh (because she was outrageously ghetto fabulous- I’m not so sure about the fabulous part though). Then I thought about it and why and how she’d become this way. It’s a really deep, serious issue. It’s a real problem with folks who think this way.

People have been abused so much they have come to expect it, and when that doesn’t happen, it isn’t the norm for them so they think something is wrong. In the end I felt sorry for the young lady because I know there are tons of misguided young women who think this same way. We’ve got to get back to being good parents, or this is what will happen.

I love having someone to cook my meals, wash my clothes, and who will willingly let me have sex with them on a regular basis. I don’t know what all you happy single people are talking about, but you don’t realize this stuff matters until you don’t have it anymore. As men get older, these things become more important than gold. I’m chuckling right now because my wife is probably giving me one of those looks if she’s reading this. I love you hun.

If you’re not excited to come home to your partner, you dread coming home sometimes, or you just sit in the car for several minutes contemplating what you’ll have to deal with once you enter those doors, it’s time to get a relationship adjustment. Ask yourself what do you love about relationships, and make sure your partner has at least some of those traits. You won’t be able to get everything you want in one person because none of us are perfect. But, those things that give you butterflies, aspire to keep that flame lit with your partner.

Find new ways to please each other, and go above and beyond to cater to them. People simply don’t do that anymore. It’s a very fast-paced “on to the next one” playing field. Good luck to all of you and I hope you either find your way to that special person, or that you can find ways to make it work with your current partner. There are some tips, tricks and guidance you could use. (Hint Hint, you’re reading the guy’s article who can help you.) I’m truly about you crushing it and being happy. For real.

If you’d like to leave your answers to these questions, please leave a comment below! I’d absolutely love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and outlooks on these topics.

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I want to help you start building a fresh brand new healthy relationship, or solidify and strengthen a seasoned one and watch that transformation in your life take place. These are a few ideas that you can implement right now to start building a healthy relationship.

The area of relationships is such a major factor in people’s lives that it can affect their standard of living. That’s why I’ve devoted entire chapters to addressing these issues in my book. To get an in-depth guide to navigating relationships, check out my book, The Truth: Keeping’ it 100: The Blueprint to Relationships.

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I’m dedicated to helping you build those quality relationships. Its all in the book! And if you want to learn even more tips, tricks and strategies behind the way men think, then you’ve got to listen to this podcast!

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Allow me to help transform the way you think about and approach relationships, strengthen your marriage (if married), and revolutionize your dating tactics (if you’re single)!

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