First of all, this is NOT to pick on you women. That’s my disclaimer. I’m actually trying to help you gain traction and get results. So although it might seem this way, read the full article then let me have it.
THE SUCCESSFUL WOMAN’S DISADVANTAGE
Why you still may be single
I have some really great valuable tools for you in this blog post. They will be further down near the middle to the end of the article. You can skip down just to get those nuggets, but I hope you’ll read the article. It’s your choice, and I appreciate you either way!
In my book The Truth: Keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships in chapter 2, I mention different types of women that fall into different categories, to give you a feel for how men sort of categorize women when they get that initial first impression, and how they grade you when they figure it out. This article is going to be focusing on what i call the sophisticated/established/career type woman.
Just to briefly paraphrase what I said in the book, she is what I call the fortune 500 woman. To one degree or another, she has the following things: she’s very successful, more than likely has a degree (s)(could be working towards one), owns her own house (s), owns her car (s), and usually has a pretty fat bank account. Im just setting the stage for the type of success I’m talking about because recently there have been a lot of upper echelon high earning women who say they simply can’t find a man that’s on their level.
I’m here to help you out on a few things. And we all know by now that the average American income they say is around 40 to $50,000. That’s average so I’m talking about women who earn upwards of around 90K and up.
Here are just a few things I’ve noticed about these sort of women during my research for my first book. Now this of course doesn’t apply to all successful women, but a large majority of them face this same dilemma. Now success is different for some people. I would also consider in this group women who are working hard and providing for themselves and making decent money. They’re in the same boat.
So we’ll get to some things that may be setbacks for successful women. Here are 3 Reasons Why You Might Still be Single
- Successful women are usually overly confident and independent (turns men off)
- They sometimes have to be reminded when to be submissive in a relationship because they are used to being the breadwinner and running things (don’t know how to respect the roles each person plays)
- They don’t like a man doing things for them or often refuse it because they have that independent woman thing going on (which is good, but we’ll get into this a little more in detail later) (Comes off like you don’t need a man)
This woman primarily has a hard time finding a viable suitor or a suitable candidate because either most guys are intimidated by strong powerful women that look like they have their stuff together, or they’re not on her level.
It’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Here are 7 Reasons Guys Might Not Approach a Woman:
- A woman seems to be out of their league
- Fear of being shot down
- Men might mistake her boldness and think she may have an attitude
- Men might think they aren’t good enough to talk to her because they don’t make as much money, drive as nice of a car, or live in as nice of a place
- Their ego of a woman making more than them might be a problem
- They feel she doesn’t know how to simultaneously be a strong woman, be independent, but also be submissive in a relationship
Now most women in this position still really want and need someone in their corner but they don’t realize they come off this way sometimes. But a lot of times they’re not like men think they are.
So guys usually don’t approach them for fear of being shot down, they don’t take crap so they might have that exterior that looks hard to get close to. Often times they usually remind a guy that they got where they are all on their own with hard work. They basically toot their own horn a little too much. They will drop guys in a heartbeat if men don’t quickly meet their standards.
So a lot of these types of women end up being single by choice for a while. Here are a few tips you can use. Sometimes all of us don’t realize the things we do.
4 Quick Useful Tips to Use in Discussions with Men
- don’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover until you’ve had time to determine his true character. he may not make as much as you, but if he’s a hard worker and a good guy, you might not want to pass up on him
- don’t make your standards too high, you have to be realistic about what’s available and what you’re looking for
- don’t talk at a man, talk to him
- don’t constantly talk about how many accomplishments you have all the time
Here are a few facts about men and dealing with these types of women. We love independent women. Here’s why.
4 Reasons Men Love Independent Women
- you’ll have a network of coworkers
- you’ll have your own thoughts and your own money, which says you can maintain a great deal of responsibility. men like that (especially when they are looking for a candidate to build a family with)
- men like taking care of you but we like knowing that if we can’t come through for whatever reason, you’ll be able to have our backs
- being independent means you won’t always be at home looking over our shoulders watching us all the time
We want to take care of you but we like knowing that if the crap hits the fan, you’ll be able to hold it down.These days the general saying by lots of women is that they don’t need a man. Women have reduced the value they place on men because of the shift in their economic status and how lots of them are becoming bread winners and big earners. By all means be proud of all your accomplishments and your successes, but having a man come in and help with all of that can assist with the overwhelming day to day challenges you face. It’s always helpful to have someone in there with you getting it done. It’s hard to do it all by yourself. Don’t be so independent you can’t recognize when someone is there trying to fill in that gap, be there for you, or help you out.
Men feel one of their roles is to be a provider and by saying you don’t need a man you just took that away from him. I understand if you make your own money you don’t need his but a real man will want to drop something on you just because you’re his woman.
It’s a natural thing to want to prove to the world you’re hot stuff after you’ve attained success. That’s good for the world but not for your man. He doesn’t want to hear that all the time. He needs to know he has a woman who knows how to appreciate him and what he brings to the table, and not a woman that just talks at him, talks down to him, or belittles him.
There is a really detailed discussion about this on page 73-85 in chapter 6, The Strong Woman in my book. This I believe is the second most detailed and valuable chapter in the book. Chapter 5 and 6 are by far the most detailed chapters with the most information, and they are worth the price of the book alone.
Men want women like you, but they don’t want to deal with all the “I’m the boss” and the “independent woman” complexes that women have when they win in life, in business and at work. For real men, strong and bold, this won’t be as much of an issue, but you’ve got to know your role as a woman and play that role. Realize you can’t be the man in the relationship because at the end of the day when you’re at the house, your man should be the king of the castle and you’ve got to make him feel this way or he won’t be around for very long. And don’t say good riddens, because you’ll just be single again, complaining about why you can’t find a decent guy.
I realize this article probably won’t be as popular with you women, because maybe you feel like I might be picking on you or bashing you. Rest assured my only goal is to help you get over some of the obstacles that go on which you may not even realize you’re facing. I hear guys say it all the time, and I’m a guy myself and I’ve dealt with several women in this situation. I’m trying to help you level it down a bit. I’m not trying to level down your success, but maybe turn down the aggressiveness a bit when you’re interacting with members of the opposite sex.
And as a final note, if you don’t feel a man is on your level, don’t choose him. Most guys aren’t going to be in that fortune 500 status to be real with you. That’s why I’m the “100” guy. I’m going to keep it 100% real with you whether you like what I’m saying or not. This is just truth here. Try looking at it from a different perspective as I have about many of the topics I write about, and maybe you’ll be able to gain something positive out of what we’re talking about. So maybe the pool of eligible bachelors you think should exist are there, but maybe you’re looking at it from an imaginary perspective and not a realistic perspective and expectation.
Until next time, peace, blessings, and prosperity to you on your journey to a better life, and a better relationship.
To get the additional download 4 Reasons men love independent women, click here.
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I get really deep into this particular issue in my book The Truth: Keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships. The information in chapter 5 is so valuable its worth the price of the entire book alone. If you want to know what we’re thinking about it, that’s the chapter to read. To buy the book, click HERE. The eBook is only $4.99 and the paperback is $15.
We waste that much on a few coffees at Starbucks, or a few Mocha Frappe’s at McDonald’s. It’s so worth it to get this inside information. I didn’t spill all the beans in this article. I just hit the tip of the iceberg. Click below to check the book out in any one of these locations.
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