FREE Download below!
What is the biggest reason men cheat?
Why do we really go out there and do it?
This question will garner responses from many women all over. You’ll hear things like ‘men will never have enough’ and ‘they’re all dogs’ and they are immature. Sure these things are true for some men. But in reality, the majority of men cheat because of something called complacency. I just mentioned in the last question to this series the reasons why women eventually decide to stray. Men do the same for some of the same reasons. The only difference is that men do it to fill a physical void mostly, while women are filling an emotional void, which is much more serious. In either case, it’s wrong, but can be prevented. Some men won’t ever have enough women until they mature or get tired of it. But for most men, when they get to that point, they don’t want to annihilate what they’ve built up for one sexual encounter. You have to Play Your Role.
There are some men who aren’t satisfied with having one woman. The majority of the time, a woman knows her man is like this. Oftentimes we ignore clear signals or signs that this is the case. But we fail to pinpoint them in the beginning when things are kosher. Men do have short attention spans. As we get older this changes and there are other things we value such as cooking and washing clothes. Sex is still on the list, but other necessities also become more important and hold more weight.
It has more to do with starting one way, and not finishing, than if you had never done it to begin with. Men do get used to certain things. If you fail to deliver what you always have and suddenly try to change, this creates problems. Men won’t usually come right out and say it, but they will give you indications that they are unsatisfied with a situation. For me, as I get older, I want more peace and less drama, so men evaluate whether it would be more peaceful or easier to concede whatever it is we are worried about and deal with it, rather than cause waves where we’ll have to deal with what we may consider non-essential drama.
Cheating is never acceptable. But it can be prevented if both people are consistent. That’s a very important concept that will curb a lot of situations before they even happen. I don’t need to have a perfect woman or get 100% of the things I want, because in a relationship, your mate will always have something that you wish you could change about them. As long as you maintain what you always have been doing, this won’t become an issue most of the time.
If you did things to court him and that’s what got him hooked, why would you stop doing those things after you hooked him? Stay vigilant. There are a lot of single eligible bachelors. This of course is for both sexes.
If you’d like to leave your answers to these questions, please leave a comment below! I’d absolutely love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and outlooks on these topics.
I devote an entire chapter to how men think, what to expect from them, when to recognize a good man, and how to approach him. I even go over the reasons in-depth why a man would even think about going this route in chapter 5 of my book.
I recently read an article by Nicole Yorio titled “The Shocking Truth About Why Men Cheat” in redbook magazine online. They interviewed 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands to get the real reasons behind infidelity. There were some interesting facts that I’ll share with you here. (Full article:The Shocking Truth About Why Men Cheat)
- 48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated
- 66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair- a very large percentage of these guys never dreamed they’d be unfaithful, and almost all of them wish they wouldn’t have done it)
- 77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated
- 40% of cheating men met the other woman at work
- Only 12% said the mistress was more physically attractive than their wife (this one really gets me. Rules guys, rules.)
This next small excerpt is from the same article. But it is paramount to the survival of your relationship and things you absolutely pay attention to if you don’t want your man looking elsewhere. This is good too.
73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs — you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for sex, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about cheating—especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead, Neuman suggests, take charge of what you can control—your own behavior—and take the lead in bringing your marriage to a better place. Don’t hesitate to show your appreciation for him, prioritize time together, and initiate sex more. Give him a reason to keep you at the front of his mind, Neuman says. And be open about how you feel about what’s going on between the two of you (again, without mentioning any third parties). Try, “I think we’ve started to lose something important in our marriage, and I don’t want it to disappear.” In the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on your relationship and doing what it takes to keep it working for you. (Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, from his book The Truth About Cheating)
Pay attention to all those things in your relationship so you can recognize the early warning signs. I have mentioned several times already that I have a tool to help measure the growth of your relationship, and when things may change. It is my QRA tool. (Quarterly Relationship Assessment Worksheet)
The download is below. To take full advantage of the QRA worksheet, read this blog on how to implement the strategies, and make full use of the QRA worksheet. Read the full article The Quarterly Relationship Assessment.
If you liked this article, please share it!
I also wrote an entire article on infidelity and 5 specific tips to prevent it. Infidelity is often caused by neglect, and a little bit of complacency over time. That’s the formula for cheating. Neglect plus complacency over time. To go even more in-depth on the specific reasons and have a deeper discussion about prevention, read The Truth Revealed: Why People Have Affairs or Cheat. It’s a great article that is a great add-on to this article, and the previous week’s Relationship Resolution Series question, what is the biggest reason women cheat.
I get really deep into this particular issue in my book The Truth: Keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships. The information in chapter 5 is so valuable its worth the price of the entire book alone. If you want to know what we’re thinking about it, that’s the chapter to read. To buy the book, click HERE. The eBook is only $4.99 and the paperback is $15.
We waste that much on a few coffees at Starbucks, or a few Mocha Frappe’s at McDonald’s. It’s so worth it to get this inside information. I didn’t spill all the beans in this article. I just hit the tip of the iceberg. Click below to check the book out in any one of these locations.
I want to help you start building a healthy relationship, and watch a transformation take place in your life.
Relationships affect everyone. If you have an argument or disagreement with a spouse or partner, it could cause you to have a bad day. And when you have a truly special moment, you could feel like you’re on cloud nine all day!
I’m dedicated to helping you build those quality relationships. Its all in the book! And if you want to learn even more tips, tricks and strategies behind the way men think, then you’ve got to listen to this podcast!
Please take a moment to answer 2 quick questions so I can better serve you, and countless others! It will take less than 1 minute to complete and doesn’t require any personal info! Thank you in advance! Please click here.