I just recently had a radio show where we were talking about standards. I do recommend starting on an even playing field. That is why I recommend dealing with people who have the Rule of Three which I’ve written about and mentioned several times. We all have standards to some degree, and we should.
We don’t realize that initially the people we choose can assist in our lives spiraling out of control. We might have children where the other parent decides to bail out for any number of reasons. So what we look for in a potential mate is important. In the discussion the host made a good point that if a person is filling in the gap where they are lacking, then an exception can be made.
So in talking about settling for less and having realistic standards, I don’t think its too much. Ive seen a lot of posts talking about having to support a man and thats because they didn’t set an initial boundary about their expectations.
Its not about being superficial but its about having an even playing field to begin with. Ten years down the line, when you are tired of playing games and you want to get married, but you have baggage from relationships you didn’t vet and require expectations and set standards, only then do we realize the penance we pay for our lack of standards when no one or very few will sign up for being with us.
In all cases I would still recommend having the Rule of Three. To read more about it, you can read the article 3 Things every candidate should have. You’ll be able to cut out a lot of people that don’t want to work or want to just freeload. I’ve written a good 4 or 5 articles on dating criteria if you wanted to check out those articles in detail. Here’s a brief list.
- First Dates: How to get the Treatment and Respect you Deserve
- 7 Tips to Help you Choose the Right Person
- The 3 Stages of Getting to Know Someone
- If you aren’t Married, You’re Single
To read more of my articles, simply click here.
QUESTION 15: Would you date a person who was lacking in 1 or 2 of these areas?(The Rule of Three=transportation, residence, or career)
So for instance if a guy had a job and his own place, but no car. Or if he had a car and a place but no job. Or a job and a car but stayed with his mom or a relative. Is this a deal breaker? This one is different to each person. Usually if a man doesn’t have a job, he probably won’t have the other two either. But maybe if you had that other thing you could compliment him and make it work. I say to each his own. I’ve heard crazy stories about women shoring up men though. Just yesterday, I read and answered a post about a woman who said she just seems to attract only guys that want to use her. Listen to this. They have their own money but still wanted to ask her for money. She goes on to say that the ones she seems to attract don’t want anything out of life. I’ll just post it below:
He started charging her to see him!? And after that…after that!? Which means after he charged you in addition to that he asked you for money? No matter how many times you called…. to get your own car back!? I had to just stop reading there. Now I would say she’s a little slow. Or she may be desperate or have a self-esteem issue. He was already past insulting when he started charging her. I’m seriously trying not to laugh but as I’m writing this…I thought people made stuff like this up and the more I research, the more I find this kind of crap. And even after she found all this out she still stayed with the guys. With an s. Which means multiple guys that fit the same description.
Do we see the pattern here? Please just don’t do this. At least let the playing field be even. I mean, where do these women live? Are ya’ll all in one location? Do ya’ll live in one city? Do ya’ll run in packs? Because I have never met a woman who would just let me use her car and bring it back when I was ready. This was funny to me. I mean just a punching bag for being used.
What possesses people to let this kind of stuff go on? I mean really. You’re going to pick the guy up, pay for ya’ll lunch, and let him use your car until he’s ready? And then complain when he doesn’t bring it back when you tell him to? Wow. And this isn’t truly to bash you women. I mean you saw the post. I didn’t make it up! I used to hear these stories but just reading some of them is just over the top. My word.
To read the Rule of Three blog post, it’s titled 3 Things Every Viable candidate must Have.
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The book lays out a blueprint and guide in different areas you should inspect. Here is an overview of what the book discusses.
- The Introduction and Prelude to Relationships– lays out the groundwork and different types of people there are. If you can recognize what type you are, you’ll be able to make a better selection, and maybe work on areas you might not be so strong in.
- The Basics– basically about being a gentlemen, and if you’re a lady, having some class.
- Standards– set some realistic expectations before you start, and hold the person accountable to those standards, but don’t overdo it.
- The Good Man– probably the most insightful chapter. This reveals the truth about a good man, what to expect, and how to deal with him.
- The Strong Woman– self-assessing and looking in the mirror to make yourself a stronger woman.
- Baggage Claim– anything extra our past experiences have placed on us that might make us bitter, or make it hard for us to trust.
- Sex and Intimacy– self explanatory
- Confidence and Attitude– develop your swag. The opposite sex notices.
- The Round Table– social media and its effects on relationships, who you should confide in about your relationship, and other various topics that need to be addressed.
- Graduation– learning to conquer all your insecurities and moving forward to triumph in your relationship. Focusing on the things that matter most.
I want to help you start building a healthy relationship, and watch a transformation take place in your life.
Relationships affect everyone. If you have an argument or disagreement with a spouse or partner, it could cause you to have a bad day. And when you have a truly special moment, you could feel like you’re on cloud nine all day!
I’m dedicated to helping you build those quality relationships. Its all in the book! And if you want to learn even more tips, tricks and strategies behind the way men think, then you’ve got to listen to this podcast!
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