The Vision: When Your Partner Doesn’t See It

THE VISION: How your Spouse may not see the Vision you Have

People with the entrepreneurial spirit have a special type of fire shut up in their bones. And few people can relate to this type of fire. Only other true hard working visionary entrepreneurs can relate and really empathize with people who go through these trials and obstacles, without the full support of their spouses.

I wrote an earlier article about supporting your mate when things aren’t safe. Anyone can jump on the boat when you have a yacht and things are peachy. But what about when you can’t see what your partner sees, and it seems to you that instead of a yacht, they have a small rowboat they are trying to take out into some rough seas.

In relationships, everyone is different. That’s sometimes what draws people closer together, and simultaneously contradicts itself by pushing them apart. For people with vision, this couldn’t be closer to the truth. I don’t think the average person who goes about life in the ordinary fashion can understand true passion, ambition, and pursuit of an intense goal.

Being an entrepreneur with vision is sort of like being an Olympian. Not everyone is cutout for it, and people who aren’t cut from the same cloth will have a hard time seeing how you’re going to get that tiny rowboat to the opposite shore. The road to being an olympian is not easy and full of obstacles. But most of the time, they have a vision about winning at the highest level, and no one will see it until they get a medal. In this same way, as entrepreneurs are pushing through the daily challenges of life, and they can see the end goal they’re pushing for, at times their spouse can’t see it until the business has a couple of zeros behind its business account.

But what about the time in between where the visionary has to build? Empire building is a tough area, and even harder for a spouse when they don’t initially see success. It is a very tough obstacle to get over when you’re the only one who sees your vision, and you have to agree upon it with your spouse, especially if they don’t see it and don’t necessarily believe you can pull it off.

I can tell you being an entrepreneur with vision means almost no one will see what you see. They’ll see obstacles, and pitfalls, and everything that could go wrong, and their emotions get the better of them when they are looking at all those odds stacked against their partner. It can be a hard thing to support someone who has a crazy idea, and you’re unsure of the uncertainty, not to mention that the idea really just may not work.

This article came actually from two things. One, when I faced a difficult decision on putting a whole lot of money towards building my vision and my business, and I had to talk to my wife about it. Two, I was listening to a webinar with people who have a similar model as I do, and James Altutcher said someone should write about being an entrepreneur and getting your wife or spouse on the same page with you. This let me know that other entrepreneurs go through these same struggles with their spouses as well.

While you’re building you might hear something like this:

• this is a hobby
• it isn’t creating any money
• why are you putting so much time into something that isn’t bringing money into the house or supporting the family
• focus on real goals and not some “dream”
• you are taking time away from me doing this “thing” that isn’t going anywhere

I don’t think that our partners deliberately try to discourage us, but we have a “third” eye. When everyone else sees obstacles, we see opportunity. When everyone else sees failure, we see learning. When everyone else only sees what’s in front of them, we see deep into the future. Can we blame them for their skepticism on something they can’t really see? No, but a person should support their partner.

When those checks start to get cut, and the empire starts to grow after all the hard work, who’s going to have their hand out? And as the partner of a successful business person aren’t you want to going to join in celebrating and enjoying the fruits of labor? You’re going to benefit from all of someone else’s hard work. So don’t make it even more of a challenge for a spirited person to achieve their goals.

You have a really hard job as a spouse, and its really hard to have faith in something that’s not your dream. Here are some things to note. Even if you don’t believe in what your spouse is doing, you should support in all cases. But for those who look at the tangible first, and have to have some sort of reason to support them here are some criteria you can use:

• it doesn’t affect the finances that deal with paying bills and supporting the family
• they have a clear plan going forward
• they don’t jump from many ideas and they have focus
• you see that they aren’t going to quit after a short time
• they continue to follow their “dream” long after you’ve told them it isn’t going to work, or you don’t see what they see

Usually these are committed people. There are already immense challenges, and they need your support. When the person who should be their anchor isn’t in their corner or doesn’t support them just because they don’t immediately see the vision, that’s a whole other element added to the pre-existing weight of pressing through to win.

You might not want to give up on your guy or gal. How will you feel when they become a millionaire with that outrageous crazy dream they had, but it isn’t you on their arm once they reap the benefits of all that hard work? How will that make you feel? Help them crush it. If you can’t support them, at the very least don’t say discouraging things, or get in the way of their accomplishments and ambitions.

And don’t try to come back when they’re successful. They might feel like you’re only there for one reason, and with good cause to believe so. If you can’t be there for your partner through the good, the bad, and the struggle, you don’t truly support them, and you aren’t fully invested in that relationship.

For a little more in-depth information you can read the blog: Support When You’re Most Afraid.

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Thanks for reading to the end. If you liked this blog post, please check out others of mine you might like. And I would love to hear your feedback on these topics. Leave your comments below! Here are some of my other top blog posts you might find interesting.

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