What Men Desire From Their Ideal Woman


Good and Wholesome or Kinky and Freaky?

I’ve recently been hearing you ladies. This article I’m only going to talk about one concept. And this one concept is mentioned throughout all the Facebook groups I’m in, and single women and married women alike often wonder what type of woman we want, or what might satisfy us. I’ve been listening and I understand that you are highly displeased with the selection of bachelors, and recently more women have wondered why men watch porn when they have a woman they are intimate with at home. Women are displeased with the current state of the dating scene, and I recently read about a trend that women think has been going on. There was a meme with hundreds of comments below it.

The argument from women is that guys go for these not so suitable women that are sometimes promiscuous, very sexual, and not the conservative take-me-home-to-mom type women. They said that men are going for these types, and good women are left to suffer when they get mistreated by these women, and they usually have a chip on their shoulder and as a result, approach and treat women differently than they might normally treat them. So I’m going to attempt to explain a phenomenon that ya’ll have been recently noticing.

Here is the premise behind this idea. Women feel these days that there is not much payoff (for lack of better words) for being a good woman, because all the bad women who do things like porn stars do, get all the good selection of guys or faithful guys. Here is the deal with that. And it’s pretty simple. Before you read any further, there will be explicit material and graphic details in this article. Okay. You’ve been warned.

We like nasty, sloppy sex. I don’t mean sloppy like someone’s extra belly fat hanging over us while you’re on top riding. (That was a joke and maybe not a good one, and I have a sense of humor. Lighten up.) I’m talking about nasty spit-sloppin’, porn star, amazing, toe-curling, cum swallowing sex. I do realize I might have gone a little far with the cum swallowing statement for some of you, but it was to make a point. And if that was too much for you, well then this just might be the article you need to read. I want to set the stage  for how you’re thinking about it and explain what guys feel about it.

You can be a good wholesome woman, and that is what we desire for the most part. But in the bedroom, that is not where we desire you to be a wholesome woman. Let me explain. You understand the phrase a “lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets” (or a beast in the sheets). That phrase is literal but some women don’t get that’s what we want.

It is one of the reasons men watch porn. That is by the way no excuse to watch porn, but I just aim to explain the thought process a bit. They fantasize in hopes about the acts that are going on (not necessarily about another woman), and the fact that their woman does not perform these acts.

So what am I saying? If you’re a wholesome woman and you’re looking for a man, when you get the man, the bedroom (in regards to committed relationships leading to marriage) is not the place to be boring or lazy during sex. Make sure that you are your guy’s fantasy. That is the basic premise and the thing you need to understand about men. I remember writing something about why men cheat with women who are less pleasurable looking or not as aesthetically pleasing as their wives may be, and it’s quite simple. As a matter of fact, I mention it in chapter 2, The Prelude to relationships where I go into detail about the categories different women fall into (chapter 2 in my book).


I mention that a lot of times, an unattractive woman (as bad as this sounds) is usually great in bed. Why? Since they may not necessarily attract the Boris Kodjoes or the Taye Diggs types of guys of the world, they must have another bargaining chip. I’m chuckling and this sounds really bad, but I have to bring the real to you. I won’t sugarcoat it and this may not get many likes or shares. But, the less attractive woman can make a guy’s toes curl. I personally believe every woman has something beautiful about her, but we couldn’t all get those movie star genes right? Ya’ll know I’m telling the truth. I’m just saying what others won’t. Okay to get back on track, these women know how to satisfy.

It is why you often hear people say things like, “He cheated with her?!” Or you might hear them say “What was he thinking?!” His girlfriend is much prettier than she is. But in lots of those cases, she was a beast in those sheets, and the girlfriend was more than likely much more conservative and goodie-two-shoes if I may use that word here. If you only do doggie-style and missionary, I’m talking to you. If you never get on top, or you never are aggressive or pursue your guy, you’re boring. Don’t be lazy. I can’t stress that enough.

I’ve interviewed women for my book and they felt men should be grateful for even being given the opportunity to be with them much less sleep with them. Boy are they in for a rude awakening. Guys just want to get their penises stroked, sucked, and toyed with without having to hear “I don’t do that.” Or things like “Who do you think is going to do that?” “Better find you a white girl.” Too much? C’mon, that’s the things some women say. I had fun writing this article. Really. If you constantly tell your guy what you aren’t going to do…I was trying to find a positive way to end that, but…nada, nothing. Just try as much as you can to be your guy’s fantasy, of course within your own boundaries.

Even if we have a wholesome woman, we want a raunchy woman in the bedroom. Need I say more? I was trying to be tactful while getting the point across. We like the exotic. One thing to note here is to save that kind of exclusivity for your husband. Everybody shouldn’t be getting the red light district special. Keep his attention. Be his fantasy.

Just out of the blue one day, ask him this question: “What is your favorite sexual fantasy excluding a threesome?” and then tell him you want to be that. See doesn’t that put a smile on his face. It’s like being a kid in a candy store. He’s going to form up a Grinch smile from ear to ear. And then whatever he tells you, try to be that fantasy. One of the major reasons guys even think about getting it from another woman or watching porn is because he isn’t getting that from his woman. Most of the time it’s not even exotic. It isn’t that the woman is exotic, it’s that he isn’t getting that experience at home. Some men (I’m sure you’ve already thought it in your head) just don’t care and will cheat and watch porn because they want to. Sure. There are some. Heck there are lots.

Most of the guys I have interviewed, spoken to, or otherwise noted from comments and feedback in relationship groups and in person don’t take much to satisfy. But this one was unanimous. If you’re just half of what I’m talking about here, you’ll keep his attention. A no holds barred sexual experience in the bedroom is totally hard to walk away from. If you do that and you can cook (just a little), you clean (just a little), and you are half of a decent woman, you’re freaking gold, and a super hot commodity. Lots of women these days really are lazy. So are the men. This is going to put your relationship opportunity cost and your RROI (relationship return on investment) way up. Remember those from my other articles?


That’s what it’s all about. The experience. So, go out there, and have fun being sexy and pleasing your partner. And one last tip for you, if you are in a committed relationship, and you have been monogamous for at least 3 years with the same person, then its time to not be boring and go there with your partner. No one likes boring sex. And stop saying no all the time! Give oral sex. Oral sex is mostly about letting your partner know you aren’t self centered and just about getting your orgasm. It says you are thinking about others. Of course in all this, your partner should return the favor. Reciprocity is essential.

I recently read a post that was talking about these overly promiscuous women or the constant club goers that dance and dress provocatively. The post said that these women are the ones who are getting the good men, and then damaging them so the rest of the good women pay for it.

The only reason guys go for these types of women is because they honestly think she’s going to be good in bed. That’s sort of shallow and simple, but that’s the way it is. Take some notes from those women, and be classy with it in public. But in private, that’s who you need to be. It’s about pleasing your partner not demeaning yourself or whatever concoction of thoughts you might put together in that head of yours. I said that because some women think that dressing or dancing like this will make them look bad in their partner’s eyes, but if they are in fact your partner, it won’t come off like that. We like spontaneity and surprises like that.

One thing to note, if you are completely comfortable with your sexuality, you might want to break that off a little at a time. You don’t want to get that deer in the headlights look from your partner because you told him you like your butt ate the first time ya’ll have sex. I’m really laughing at that, and I was thinking of a better way to say it but, there it is. Too much?

The title of this article mentions good and wholesome, or kinky and freaky? Be both. The best of both worlds is a hell of a bargaining chip for keeping your partner. It’s tough competition out here. Not with other women, but with the “perception” of something new and exotic. I promise you the women that have had the best sex for me were the hardest to break up with when things didn’t work out. But one thing is for sure, it wasn’t because of another woman, it was because of internal issues and that’s what you want. You want to keep infidelity down. Even when we were going through it, I didn’t have any thoughts of any other woman. I wanted her and I wanted it to work with her. This goes a long way. I just had to realize she wasn’t the right woman for me. 

Those [sexual] issues are far easier to address than infidelity. So be a woman of class, but a major beast in those sheets in private, and only with your long-term partner or husband. Random one nights or friends with benefits don’t get to experience that part of you. Really they shouldn’t get a part of you at all if they don’t have intentions of being right with you and making you an honest woman. Is hope lost for those sultry women of class these days?Nah. Be classy. But please your partner when it’s that time.

Alright. My soap box moment is over. Happy hunting, and lots of great sex to come for you I hope! By the way, this goes both ways! Tell your man some of your fantasies too!


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Thanks for reading to the end. If you liked this blog post, please check out others of mine you might like. And I would love to hear your feedback on these topics. Leave your comments below! Here are some of my other top blog posts you might find interesting.

  • 7 Reasons a Person Won’t Leave a Bad Relationship
  • 3 Reasons You’re Still Single and 7 Reasons Why Guys May Not Approach You
  • The Changing Face and Mindset of the Modern Eligible Bachelor: 26 is the new 18
  • How to Overcome Past Hurts and Start Fresh

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